Transform Yourself
I got pregnant on New Years Eve, 1998. I was drunk.I still remember cheering NINETEEN NINETY-NINE like a madwoman outside the bar as fireworks went off at midnight.My full bladder didn't like all the jumping and screaming, so I made the drunken decision to keep celebrating and empty my bladder at the same time.I brought …
Four days before Christmas 2020, my job of almost 13 years gave me shocking news: that if I did not move back to the US from overseas where I’d been working and living for 8 years, that I would no longer have a job I considered the proposal for about 10 seconds. Everything in me …
Continue reading "My Nightmare before Xmas that turned into a Miracle"
My heart hurts. 💔 It’s an agonizing feeling that is so familiar, yet still so uncomfortable. It comes from loss of connection with another person- usually romantic, but also friendship, or loss through death. This feeling has followed me from youth. When I was 11 years old, my family moved from Texas to South Carolina, …
HOPE IS HERE. Prayers do get answered. If you need hope that you can recover – please read my “Diary of a Dry Drunk” below, written in 2008 at almost 10 years sober. It is sad and unsettling for me to read how I was suffering and in self-pity that I couldn’t see. I was …
Lately I've been talking with people about their primary addiction - the one that precedes alcohol or drugs. Of course, in my work with helping people overcome sugar and food addiction, I have heard many say food is primary. But it wasn't food for me. It was boys. At five years old, I was called …
1 YEAR NO SUGAR, 20 YEARS NO CIGARETTES This month marks 20 years no smokes, and 1 year no sugar for me🤩 My foto was taken last weekend and shows how I feel living in freedom🎉 I've had numerous substitutes for beer since I gave it up in 1999 at 22 years old. Cigarettes, though …
6 months ago I met a guy from Tinder who gave me some back-handed compliments about my looks and my age. (See Tinder Part 1 here - https://nataliemspeakman.com/2021/07/29/tinder-date/) As a result, I made a declaration to embrace myself as a 44-year-old woman. I shared an authentic-not-airbrushed selfie. (See above.) I got a lot of wonderful …
Continue reading "TINDER DATE Part 2 – The rest of the story"
I'm taking a few days away from screens. Here's why. I had a moment of clarity last week when I tried to read a book. A book I'm really interested in, that when I saw it on my friend's shelf, I immediately got it down from the shelf and wanted to start it. I sat …
Up until a few months ago, I was ashamed of my age. I never wanted to tell people how old I was. I worried and wondered if people could guess that I was in my 40s by looking at me. I hoped that I looked younger. Then in February I went on a Tinder date …
July 15, 1998, is twenty-three years ago today. Almost half my life has gone by since then. Still, I remember it every year. Here’s why. In late 1997 when I was twenty-one, I hatched a cowardly suicide scheme. I was too afraid to take direct action to kill myself, so I came up with an …
Natalie Speakman 