Digital Detox

I'm taking a few days away from screens. Here's why. I had a moment of clarity last week when I tried to read a book. A book I'm really interested in, that when I saw it on my friend's shelf, I immediately got it down from the shelf and wanted to start it. I sat …

My Rebirth-day

A year ago today I was in an AA Big Book study with my sponsor. We were reading page 31 of the book. I read the sentence "Through every form of self-deception and experimentation, they would try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic." My sponsor asked me if I had been deceiving …

Trust Fall

On December 21, 2020, at 12 midnight, my job of 12 1/2 years gave me shocking news: that if I did not move back to the US from overseas where I'd been working for 8 years, that I would no longer have a job. On top of that, they wanted me to start working in …

Reset.

I have spent the majority of my life in the meeting rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Since I was first sent to rehab at 17, Twelve Step programs have been a backdrop of my life. In 1999, at the age of 22, I put down alcohol and drugs for good. When I was in the early …

The Gap

There is a space between an event that occurs and how we interpret the event.  This gap is imperceptible for people that are living unconsciously. You know the type: they go stumbling around their lives, bumping up against things unwanted, and react to everything. They take everything personally, internalizing everything in their outer world. It's …

Then / Now

Then My eyelids are heavy and they don’t want to open. Yet the stark light is insistent, telling me that it’s late. I turn away from the window onto my right side. My left temple’s throbbing intensifies, an unwelcome reminder of last night’s overindulgence.  My whole body feels like it’s encased in lead. I want …