Goodbye

I changed my hair for you. I started growing it out, and I quit dying it funky colors 👩‍🎤 because you didn't like it short and pink. I got a manicure topped off with gold gel nail polish💅 to be more feminine, to try and please you. I quit ordering ethnic food because you said …

MY REBIRTH DAY

I want to share something about myself you may or may not know: I am a recovered alcoholic and drug addict. And I have 2 sobriety dates. Why? February 1, 1999, is the day I came back to AA and I have been clean and sober since then. I have not recreationally used alcohol, marijuana, …

HITTING ROCK BOTTOM

I got pregnant on New Years Eve, 1998. I was drunk.I still remember cheering NINETEEN NINETY-NINE like a madwoman outside the bar as fireworks went off at midnight.My full bladder didn't like all the jumping and screaming, so I made the drunken decision to keep celebrating and empty my bladder at the same time.I brought …

HEARTBREAK

My heart hurts. 💔 It’s an agonizing feeling that is so familiar, yet still so uncomfortable. It comes from loss of connection with another person- usually romantic, but also friendship, or loss through death. This feeling has followed me from youth. When I was 11 years old, my family moved from Texas to South Carolina, …

Last Chance

It was my senior year of high school, two Thursdays before Thanksgiving. I was slouched in the rear bucket seat of my mother’s red Camaro, headed to my second rehab in two months. Nine hours and an entire pack of cigarettes got me to Nashville, to Last Chance. I had just finished thirty days in …