My Nightmare before Xmas that turned into a Miracle

Four days before Christmas 2020, my job of almost 13 years gave me shocking news: that if I did not move back to the US from overseas where Iโ€™d been working and living for 8 years, that I would no longer have a job๐Ÿ˜ฑ

I considered the proposal for about 10 seconds. Everything in me screamed NO at the possibility.

Itโ€™d be the rational thing to do, yes, but it would be selling my soul to play it safe.

I knew I could not do it.

I got off the work call and burst into tears. It felt like a break up, because it was. ๐Ÿ’”

My job was the longest relationship Iโ€™d ever had.

My biggest fear had been that I would lose my job and be forced to move back to the US and get a ‘real job.’

I thought that my job was the only one I could qualify for on the planet with the money and freedom I wanted.

I saw no other options through the eyes of fear and lack.

And on December 21, 2020, this fear played out before my eyes.โšก๏ธ

Thank god the universe had already been percolating possibilities.โœจ

A few months prior to the December work meeting, an idea came out of the blue: what about becoming a life coach?๐Ÿค”

I had never considered it before.

Iโ€™d never seen myself as a leader, or as someone who had anything worthwhile to offer anyone – up until my working with others in selfless service in AA as I had been doing since 2019.

But I thought it would take a long time before I could be a coach, so I put the idea aside.

Ten days before the job news, I had my first session with a transformational mindset coach who encouraged me to jump in and just start coaching. And I did, and knew immediately this was my calling.๐Ÿ™

Then December 21 happened, and I soon understood it was the universe pushing me off a cliff.

I would never have quit my job, so I had to be forced out.

And god had created a beautiful place to land.๐ŸŒˆ

But in the moment, I couldn’t see the possibilities, only what I was losing and giving up.

It looked like a nightmare at the time, but now I know it was the best thing that could have happened.๐Ÿ€

Now one year has passed and my life is seriously a dream, beyond a dream.๐Ÿ˜

I don’t ‘work.’ I get to spend my time connecting with people through coaching, Reiki, or taking them through the 12 Steps.

I connect with people who are up to big things, or tough things, or exciting things – or all of the above๐Ÿ’ช

I remember in the month after my job ended, I would ride around on my motorbike on the tropical island paradise where I lived, and look around in wonder, with one thought echoing in my mind: “THIS IS JUST MY LIFE.”๐Ÿคฉ

There was no divide between ‘work’ and ‘life.’

I did not have to clock in and do work I didn’t enjoy, to cash in my time for hourly wages.

It was a surreal and beautiful feeling.๐ŸŒ 

It’s not been all roses, of course.๐Ÿšซ

There has been lots of financial fear- the same fear that kept me in the dead end job with a steady paycheck for too long.๐Ÿ˜“

I can get afraid that I will never make another dollar, although my bank account has risen exponentially since I left my 9-5.

Sometimes I fear if I am โ€œa good coach,โ€ even though I have helped people get real results.

Yet I recognize this is my growing edge, and that I don’t exist in a vacuum.

In the past, it was truly just all about me. Now there is a greater purpose in my own growth: that those I work with also benefit when I handle my fears and insecurities and grow through them.๐ŸŒฟ

Not once, through all the ups and downs of the past year, have I regretted my choice to take the leap out of my old job and into the unknown.

It was the best decision I have ever made.๐ŸŒŸ

Things show up in life sometimes looking a certain way, but Iโ€™m not god so I canโ€™t know the bigger picture.

I thought my life would be over if I lost my job. But in trusting the unknown, knowing that everything is always working out for me- no matter how it might present- I can rest in the river of life, letting her currents carry me along the twists and turns, rapids and drops.Itโ€™s not a fun ride if I resist the flow.

So when fear comes, I do my best to relax, let go, and enjoy the journey.๐Ÿšฃโ€โ™‚๏ธ

And what a beautiful journey it is when I am present and surrender to what is.

I truly love my life that I donโ€™t need a vacation from.๐Ÿ’–

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